June 2nd 1991  (Age 26)


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Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Weird. I don't know why people are trying to get close to me when I prefer being alone. Like Mom. She's trying to get me to eat with her, talk to her. For what, really? I just want to finish four years and get the hell out of my house. I hope she doesn't think we have some mother-daughter thing going because we don't. Looks like she'll have to miss out on that or go spend time with my brother instead.

Like seriously. I want to be left alone by my family.
I really dislike them. | :

Posted at 05:05 by fruchia
bend the truth  

Sunday, August 08, 2010
Don't Know Which Way Is Up Or Down
I feel lonely when someone isn't around.
Nobody else can fill that space.

Posted at 10:32 by fruchia
bend the truth  

Monday, August 02, 2010
Leave Me.
I hate being judged by people who don't know me.

That said, I love that .GIF of Alois that Ling made me. It made me laugh.
Love the little sadistic pansy boy.

Posted at 06:06 by fruchia
bend the truth  

Thursday, July 22, 2010
Heck If I Know
As promised, here's my entry. I got tired of you kids asking me to update.
Well what was I supposed to update when i have no life, hmm?

Bleh, I want college to start already. And sometimes I don't want to. But maybe it'll help me go back to having a life beyond the one I have online. It's pretty upsetting that my entire day revolves around the computer. If it were to crash, I'd probably go into a spasm of some sort. And that's not exaggerating.

I've come across a few morons recently and my patience is stretched so thin. I'm unable to tolerate when people spell things wrong. I don't really know when I got like this since I can't spell things myself but I can when I'm roleplaying, yes. Looks like I want a reason to go off. Anyway.

And I will take this erratic rainfall as the upcoming sign of the apocalypse monsoon.
Schools will be shut. Which means I'll have to see more of my brother. Gross.

Uhhh, watched the Kuroshitsuji OVA today and it was hilarious. And now I'm impatient for the next chapter, next episode.

(His butler, the wart {: >)

Good times.

Thursday, July 08, 2010
I'm Alive
So I know this place has been deserted for three months or so.
But I've returned~.
The only thing that's exciting now is Kuroshitsuji season 2.
Okay I'll do this when I'm ready.

Posted at 03:06 by fruchia
bend the truth  

Friday, April 23, 2010
Faded, Hated, Slipping Away.
There used to be a time when I used to want to go online just to talk to all the amazing friends I have. I liked my life and I liked my friends online too. They kept things light and I had things to laugh about back at school with my real life friends.
Then real life had to go and get screwed up and the margins changed, I preferred staying online and chatting, the prospect just seemed more interesting and fun rather than actually solving any of my problems. If I had just faced them and not turned my back on them, I would be in a better state right now. I just ran to my online friends, pretended like everything was okay and spent time chatting instead of hanging out with my actual friends. I forgot about school, about life, just to chatplay or whatever. And I started hating everyone in school and loved my online friends more than ever before. I thought they were all that mattered and I didn't need anyone else.
I was stupid and I was wrong.
It started with someone I loved and spoke to a lot. She was always the person I was looking forward to meet. We're 12 hours different but we would still find time to chat and share things. I was happy then.
Right now, if she were online, she would probably tell me she's busy with something. I don't know whether I've changed or she has. And I know things change and people move on to other things but I never would have guessed that we would because we were that close. Even now, I stay up till 4 am each morning and wait for her. She gets on for a few minutes, and then excuses herself. Sometimes she's on and I'm on and I don't notice but she never bothers to say anything. I always, ALWAYS, start the conversation.. I don't mind but it wasn't like that before. I wish she would just tell me that she doesn't want to talk to me. It would hurt but at least I would know and it wouldn't hurt for so long. I don't know what I did wrong, we just stopped being what we were one day. And I had no choice but to take her name off everything so that I would forget about all the moments we had but it didn't help.
Maybe it's because she's still in school and I have all the time in the world and right now she doesn't want to make time for me, or can't, whatever. But I'm really tired of going behind her, and each time I think to myself that I shouldn't bother, let her say 'hi' if she's free, but the 'hi' never comes.
She says she misses me, and that she wishes we could talk more but how are we supposed to do that if she won't make an effort to?
The worst part is when reality struck me. I wasted so much time on these people that I can never get back. Time that I should have spent either studying harder or with my real life friends because, honestly, they're real. I never told them secrets that I told my friends online. I don't know what comfort I got from sharing with them. I don't even know if they cared. If they did, then thanks.
I feel really stupid right now for isolating myself from my friends, I don't know if I was there when you needed me but I want to start trying now.
I'm not going to live on the computer anymore. It's not who I am.
I should probably chuck this thing out the never did anything good for me.
I should start living outside the room.
I don't have good ties with my family but I don't care about that. They're there because I need them and they need me, that's all. Nothing more.
I'm going to live for me and my best friends and my grandfather, the few people that I love. I can't let anything else bother me.

Hoshi, Hiruma and Tazz are more than online friends so this does not apply to them.
I love you guys just like anyone else I know in real life. ♥

Posted at 11:17 by fruchia
bent the truth (1)  

Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The Open Door.
So I thought I would finally throw something in here. It was not dead, I swear..
Uhm well, obviously the exams are over and I'm free - sort of.
I still have to study for those damned entrance tests.
It's fairly easy, I just hope I'm not too lazy to get past question 36 always.
I'm happy to know that three other people are applying with me.
So I will know someone there after all.
It's like I'm leaving school behind, and also not.
Oh well.
Waiting for the hall ticket to be mailed back.
Without which I can't write the test..

Called Hoshi the other day.. the background was loud..!
We didn't talk much because my phone had no battery, silly thing.
Ohwell. Another time then~

I'm too sleepy right now to be typing this.
So bed time.

New HA finally.

Posted at 04:51 by fruchia
bend the truth  

Saturday, February 27, 2010
Dear Hoshi,
I was sad but that's okay.
I'm not sad now.
Sometimes I think about stuff too much.
And that gets me upset.
So the one who is worthless is me.
But you don't have to cheer me up,
you do enough of that already.
And please don't call yourself worthless.
You're the best friend I have sometimes.
& That's all I need.
I'm sorry to worry you.
Thanks a lot.

- on a REAL hiatus till march 17th this time -
Please I hope I do well in exams ~
Bye guys. ♥

Posted at 01:42 by fruchia
bend the truth  

Tuesday, February 23, 2010
If This Is What I Call Home, Why Does It Feel So Alone
I'm feeling really bubbly now, as opposed to how I felt when I wrote the title of this entry. So yes, it did take me a long while to come up with the entry. Mainly because I was busy writing my fanfiction. I love writing it, I love writing in general and it makes me happy. Because it's so peaceful and settling. Even better when I've got some amazing Owl City songs to listen to while writing, ha.

Finally managed to talk to Lin today. On Facebook. Since that's the 'best' way to converse these days. I'm sorry if I like talking face-to-face better. I think it's been over two weeks since we spoke, which is sort of strange since we speak every other minute..
Maybe this is a sign of how everything will fall apart after school's over. But I don't mind, I really want to leave school and move on to Uni anyway. Nothing should hold me back right now. I'm all set.
 New visions, right there.

When we're apart whatever are you thinking of?If This Is What I Call Home, Why Does It Feel So Alone.

Posted at 10:01 by fruchia
bent the truth (1)  

Saturday, February 20, 2010
Random Chatting
I was chatting with Ari this morning..
We happened to talk about Jin
This amused me a lot, to the point where I fell off my chair, laughing.

I'm afraid it might be true.
(just kidding, ilu :*)

Posted at 22:20 by fruchia
bend the truth  

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